Crazy for this Girl

I really don't know how to start, there's too many questions but there's one thing I am certain about... It all started when I find someone in friendster... Someone that I adore way back when I was in grade four. She is still beautiful as of those days... One thing I can remember about her when she left to transfer in another school was her pretty smile. A smile that touches my heart... right until now...

First met her in Prep, and we we're in the same class and sitting in the same row. I may not know what I felt that time but I can remember that I do look at her a lot. She caught my attention because she is nice, pretty and smart. I know that, that time, I didn't even exist to her. I want to be her friend, but everytime I stood up and tries to go near, my body stops and just noticing myself walking back to my seat. I haven't got the chance to know her until we stepped forward to Grade 1, unluckily, we didn't became classmates until grade 4. But it was a sudden that I was sitting beside the person in front of her when the class begins. Lacking of chance from the past, I did what i have to do and have the guts to at least exchange words with her. I can't explain what I feel knowing that she's there sitting right next to the person at my back. When we do have vacant time or there's no teacher, I always look back and have some conversation. Letting my other classmate join the conversation just to hide that it is really her that I wanted to talk with. But that was just the start of losing her again, because we are arranged by our adviser to our proper seats. I didn't managed to talked to her again for some of the persons I know wasn't comfortable with her. But still, I hide in me, that what ever she is... i can't deny the fact that I liked her a lot... She left and transfer to another school, and that's the time that I totally had no idea where to find her. Even I fell for others, still there's something in her that sometimes make me feel empty.

Looking forward to the past that pursues me to look and find someone I know from those days. And there I find her, with limited view only to her friends added in friendster. I have felt mixed emotions when I saw her, I didn't even know what to react. Certainly I'm happy seeing her, nervous for it's been a long time since I saw her.

Last night, I don't know what's happening to me, I feel anticipated for tomorrow because she might send and reply to my messages... Even though I have to sleep for tomorrow's work, I still think of her, our happy memories talking and laughing. How I wish to be close to her, caress her, show her that she's one of the very important persons in my life. This is not what I felt like before when I was young it was much deeper and serious. Pathetic if you may think for feeling this way even if we haven't been talkin' yet for months. I still go and take my risk to tell her how I feel for her.

Whatever the outcome of this, I am very sure that there is nothing right now that inspires me, makes my day whole and maybe, makes my life complete...