4 hits in a day!

Today was one of the memorable days not because of a good one a bad one rather, this is the moment I felt I was hit with four arrows all at the same time straight into my heart. It's my mom's birthday today and I have nothing to give her than the morning greetings of "Happy Birthday Ma." I love my mom so much but I just don't know how to show her and though I did my best to express how much I love her, it wasn't even appreciated but don't think about something negative on it. I know that my mom loves us so much in spite the fact that she also doesn't know how to evince her love maybe that's the reason why I don't even know how to show love and appreciation. I don't blame her or anything, in fact, I even stand to what she is and no matter what, and my mom would always be my mom. Another black out occurred again due of the typhoon Milenyo, once more my fish struggles for his life and evacuated to another house that already has electricity. How I wish he wouldn't suffer again once the electricity was resumed he's been with me for three years, I don't want to lose him because of black out. He doesn't deserve to die like that, that's how important my fish is to me.

Two of the most important person holds the last two arrows. One is the person was the one who knows the real me, even the evilest part of me and I've already proven that is the right thing to trust her with my ego. I can actually say that she is the female version of me, we do have a lot in common and I consider her as my deity in handling life. She had influenced the whole me and I am very thankful that I met her because she is one of the reason why I have learn to live life in an easy way and make it livelier. Today was her last day in the office and I don't know what it would be without her she became a part of my life that helps me to be strong and to love myself more. It was just so sad that she had to leave us and continue her life with someone she entrust her life. Good luck my dear friend, you will always stay here in our hearts. Lastly, the one that completes me, I was sad that you we're not in the mood and was so stressed from work I feel what you feel, I felt sad when I saw you stressed out and I wanted to make you feel happy but I know that nothing I can do would make you feel better but to wait until you had your rest. Every time you feel bad, I feel this sadness because I know that I can't help you feel better on the other hand, always remember that I will always be here to comfort you and make you feel good. I wanted your life to be great with me and I wanted that forever, no matter what happen I will do my best to give you a great life with me. Thank you very much for coming into my life.

Night with a cloudy-mind

Cloudy, yes my mind is so full of it. It is a disquieted day and I can't seem to see clearly on what to do with something that occupies the whole me. I started the day taking a bath at around 6 am, take note that I haven't had my sleep yet at that time, then I lay down to have a rest. I took my cell phone and read some of my messages and by that time, I know that something is not alright but still my day seems to be normal. I went to out to print my brother's tarpaulin then go straight to a friend to get some files which I had to print for my God-son's project. I drop by to the office to fix the files and set them to be printed also to give the camera my officemate was borrowing. After printing, I went off to get the tarpaulin I was supposed to drop the printed documents to my God-son's but decided to go home for I was so tired from cutting and editing pictures that he have requested. And when I got home, I went straight to eat my dinner and took a nap, woke up around 9 pm. Went out again to meet someone then withdraw some money for my brother's allowance and started doing this blog after I got home.

My day was so normal yet my mind was so inhabited. It really is so hard for me to put on words what is on my mind though I know that whatever I wanted to say was for the better and even at the present, I know that it's not well enough. I don't even think that I am making my point at this blog, and I believe that this look like a non-sense post where I was trying to put my attention away from something that is affecting me too much.

My final Blog for you...

Finally... I can now say that I've already moved on without a devouring heart for you. The first time I saw you, I knew that I'm gonna love you so much that it would be impossible to find someone who could replace you yet here I am already done and over with you. It really took me sometime to move on since I totally fell in love with you but finally, now that someone has already gave up a love only just for me that makes you just a part of my memory. Now I ate up my words with the blogs I posted before and taking them back as somebody is already making my life worthwhile, here are the blogs that should be forgotten and be part of my past...

01/11/2005 - 5:40 am when I woke up > (ow, well time for me to smile)

01/13/2005 - Get A grip VENCH!!! It's over... > (It's really over... hehe)

01/16/2005 - Another morning... > (I'm gonna wake up smiling already)

01/21/2005 - Hoping for the better... > (Think I'm much better now.)

11/09/2005 - Despite the fact that I can't have you > (That's ok, there's someone who replaced you already)

11/12/2005 - will never say goodbye > (nope, I am now saying... goodbye...)

02/23/2006 - here in my heart... > (my angiel is with me already)

05/05/2006 - The love of my life > (Is now the one who loves me)

I don't have any grudges on you, I just want to clear that from now on the heart you have consumed is now owned by someone. A tiny space was still reserved for you to thank you for everything and be a friend. Thank you very much. Without you I wouldn't be a strong person and I wouldn't be so self-assuring for longing a love that I really deserve.

A regretful day...

I regret the times when I hurt you especially today I do regret that you feel bad because of me and for that I believe that I should make it up to you. I love you so much that I won't be able to make it in a day without you it would be hard for me not hearing your voice or seeing you. I know that I did hurt you for saying some things that you don't deserve to hear and I realize already that it is not right to be selfish. I've realized my mistake already it is not important what I think or feel what's important is yours, your one of the greatest things that happened in my life and I already said it to myself that I will cherish you and keep you forever. Hurting you is not a good thing to do, it's loving you and showing you how important you are to me. I don't think that I will be able to live without you, you are the love of my life and I thank God for giving you to me. God's gift is so precious and should be taken care of, that's what should I do, take care of you the one that he gave and the one that I will love for the rest of my life.

I feel sorry for what I did and I hope that you will be alright, and everything's gonna be okay. I don't know what will happen if I'd lost you, I can't even think about it since I know in my heart that I don't want that to happen. Please forgive me... Today, that I hurt your feelings was... A regretful day... I'm so sorry...

The life of Firenze endures

September 8, 2006: The electricity went off

As we enjoy the rainy night while watching television, the electric transformer from the post where our line was connected explodes not only because of the heavy rain but to some illegal connections of our neighbors. I was worried because my fish named Firenze, which I'm taking care of for roughly 3 years, might die without the pump that helps him breathe. We reported right away to the Meralco about the incident but due to the heavy rain, it would be impossible for the crews to fix the problem until the next day.

September 9, 2006: Again, again and again

11:00 AM, the electricity resumed to our place but again, again and again the transformer discharged at around 7:00 PM as the number of power consumption are too high from the amount it can only handle. The first thing that comes in my mind was my fish, I hurriedly took an ice and put it in the aquarium. I got this idea from the one who gave me my fish and it was actually effective for Firenze to breathe without the pump. The second thing I did was to call the customers service of Meralco to report again what happened and we are informed that it would take some time for the electricity to resume due to the illegal connection that one of the crew reported. A step by step process should be done before the electricity to run, Inspection is the first step in which illegal connections are determined and dispatched. Second step is Approval where the said inspection is reported and set for approval for the reconnection and the last step is the Reconnection of the electricity.

September 10, 2006: Firenze is 70% dead!

10:00 AM, my cousins were amazed by my fish who is upside-down trying to catch his breathe they thought that it was just a talent of a fish who nearly died on a stagnant water. One of my cousins called me saying that my fish was already dead! I hurriedly went down to see the condition of my fish and my heartbeat went faster when I saw him trying to fight for his life. I took an ice and put it in the aquarium while I hold him in the proper position even though I was hurt by his fins that are pointing up. I was so disturbed if my pet will make it or not and after 30 minutes, my older cousin suggested that we should transfer the fish to his mom's aquarium though I was thinking that my fish might kill the other fishes if he survived but nothing is more important that time rather than to my fish whom I wanted to survive. I prepared a half-full bucket of water and put my fish in it then my cousin carried it hastily to his mom's house. When we got there, we hastened to transfer him right away and then I tried to place him properly on the aquarium facing downwards because he can’t even be place on a proper position. I waited for a couple of munites for him to swim properly before I leave merely concerned.

September 12, 2006: Welcome back Firenze!

The electricity went back around lunch time unfortunately I was in the office and busy working doing some stuff. I got a call from my aunt and asked me to clean the aquarium and take my fish back to where he really belongs. When i got home, I instantly took my rest and prepare myself also the things I needed for cleaning the aquarium. My father helped me with cleaning until I was done I called my cousin to help me get Firenze from her mom while anxious to see him back and healthy in his aquarium. And thank God that he's alright...